Dapyamnull is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, compassionate dugong.

Dapyamnull created the planet Earth four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapyamnull, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dapyamnull, he will turn you into a plant.

Dapyamnull's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Dapyamnull's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Dapyamnull.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not wear pink clothing.

5. Do not commit murder.