Dimlognurtgangunflis is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, emotional newt.

Dimlognurtgangunflis created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimlognurtgangunflis, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dimlognurtgangunflis, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dimlognurtgangunflis' most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Dimlognurtgangunflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Dimlognurtgangunflis' name in vain.

2. Never talk about chromosomes.

3. Always help sick tortoises.

4. Do not eat coconuts.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.