Gessafsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, amazing gerbil.

Gessafsaf created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessafsaf, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gessafsaf, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gessafsaf's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Gessafsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Never chant near porpoises.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in black.