Gatpagtap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, conceited zebra.

Gatpagtap created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gatpagtap, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gatpagtap, he will be very unhappy.

Gatpagtap's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gatpagtap's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

3. Do not speak about peanuts.

4. Do not eat wheat.

5. Never hurt rats.