Pitlapbeg is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, cheerful alligator.

Pitlapbeg created dark matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitlapbeg, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pitlapbeg, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Pitlapbeg's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Pitlapbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Pitlapbeg must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always obey Pitlapbeg's priests.