Goncebjanbog Yatcimcit is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, fast unicorn.

Goncebjanbog Yatcimcit created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Goncebjanbog Yatcimcit, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Goncebjanbog Yatcimcit, it will turn you into a sheep.

Goncebjanbog Yatcimcit's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Goncebjanbog Yatcimcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near dolphins while wearing mauve stockings.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always help monkeys.