Bestvanhon is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tiresome bird.

Bestvanhon created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Bestvanhon, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bestvanhon, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Bestvanhon's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Bestvanhon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.