Afsabarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, confident hedgehog.

Afsabarp created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afsabarp, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Afsabarp, he will turn you into a dog.

Afsabarp's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Afsabarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat tomatoes.

2. Always look after injured pigs.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Afsabarp.

5. Learn three new languages a year.