Bapflattikcammiplapvinnan is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, duplicitous crocodile.

Bapflattikcammiplapvinnan created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapflattikcammiplapvinnan, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bapflattikcammiplapvinnan, she will turn you into a mole.

Bapflattikcammiplapvinnan's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Bapflattikcammiplapvinnan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dwarf planets.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Bapflattikcammiplapvinnan loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.