Kabjopmab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, able crab.

Kabjopmab created Asia two million years ago.

If you believe in Kabjopmab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kabjopmab, it will cry a lot.

Kabjopmab's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Kabjopmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never wear yellow trousers.

5. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.