Sispaksid is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fussy human.

Sispaksid created the planet Mars two million years ago.

If you believe in Sispaksid, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sispaksid, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Sispaksid's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Sispaksid's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not eat garlic.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Do not keep four grasshopers in a large pit.

5. Pray towards the east.