Dinnartyam is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, uncaring porpoise.

Dinnartyam created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Dinnartyam, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dinnartyam, he will send minions to preach to you.

Dinnartyam's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Dinnartyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always help sick hamsters.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never mention mice.

5. Never sit in the presence of mites.