Gofnutpitfligpomtoftarjig Listkopdan is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, overgenerous bear.

Gofnutpitfligpomtoftarjig Listkopdan created the Whirlpool Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Gofnutpitfligpomtoftarjig Listkopdan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gofnutpitfligpomtoftarjig Listkopdan, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gofnutpitfligpomtoftarjig Listkopdan's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Gofnutpitfligpomtoftarjig Listkopdan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Gofnutpitfligpomtoftarjig Listkopdan on top of all buildings.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never feed spinach to shrews while wearing jumpers.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.