Tigdadhit is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-assured wren.

Tigdadhit created the cosmos nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tigdadhit, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tigdadhit, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Tigdadhit's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Tigdadhit's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tortoises.

2. Run away if five mites approach from the east.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never eat bark.