Hitwaprawcad is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, strong seal.

Hitwaprawcad created the cosmos eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitwaprawcad, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hitwaprawcad, she will not care at all.

Hitwaprawcad's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Hitwaprawcad's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Never mention horses.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.