Flapbossfligyam is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, proud lizard.

Flapbossfligyam created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapbossfligyam, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flapbossfligyam, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Flapbossfligyam's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Flapbossfligyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick snakes.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never write about photosynthesis.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not shave your arms.