Loophigcam is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, compassionate donkey.

Loophigcam created life nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Loophigcam, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Loophigcam, it will turn you into a dog.

Loophigcam's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Loophigcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near horses while wearing turquoise skirts and balancing four tin spheres on your legs.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never wear ear rings.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never write about quantum gravity.