Boggamjannibvonpon is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, conceited fairy.

Boggamjannibvonpon created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Boggamjannibvonpon, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Boggamjannibvonpon, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Boggamjannibvonpon's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Boggamjannibvonpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near birds while wearing black corsets and balancing eight platinum spheres on your arms.

2. Never eat apples.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.