Pitspagditflis is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-powerful clam.

Pitspagditflis created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitspagditflis, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitspagditflis, she will send minions to preach to you.

Pitspagditflis' most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Pitspagditflis' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never paint your hands yellow.