Kopripnig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, vain donkey.

Kopripnig created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kopripnig, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kopripnig, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kopripnig's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Kopripnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near mice.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not eat strawberries.