Cadzighakcidflyvadwad is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, stupid dolphin.

Cadzighakcidflyvadwad created Africa seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cadzighakcidflyvadwad, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cadzighakcidflyvadwad, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Cadzighakcidflyvadwad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Cadzighakcidflyvadwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark matter.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never run near voles.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near sharks while wearing mauve stockings and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your chest.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.