Wigwanflab is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, selfish fish.

Wigwanflab created the Whirlpool Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wigwanflab, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wigwanflab, she will torture you forever.

Wigwanflab's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Wigwanflab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wigwanflab.

2. Do not wear brown clothing.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not dye your hair cyan.