Yogpitquatgatnuttrawbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, resourceful seal.

Yogpitquatgatnuttrawbarn created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yogpitquatgatnuttrawbarn, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yogpitquatgatnuttrawbarn, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yogpitquatgatnuttrawbarn's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Yogpitquatgatnuttrawbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill dolphins.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Yogpitquatgatnuttrawbarn on top of all buildings.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never think about stars.