Hamgofboss is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, thoughtless octopus.

Hamgofboss created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamgofboss, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hamgofboss, she will cry a lot.

Hamgofboss' most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Hamgofboss' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Hamgofboss in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.