Mabjabbop Fiddotabdamnanflagviggen is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid jellyfish.

Mabjabbop Fiddotabdamnanflagviggen created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabjabbop Fiddotabdamnanflagviggen, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mabjabbop Fiddotabdamnanflagviggen, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Mabjabbop Fiddotabdamnanflagviggen's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Mabjabbop Fiddotabdamnanflagviggen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

5. Never write about archaea.