Nanrillflannibcimlenlik Shavhakhap is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, humorless coyote.

Nanrillflannibcimlenlik Shavhakhap created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nanrillflannibcimlenlik Shavhakhap, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nanrillflannibcimlenlik Shavhakhap, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Nanrillflannibcimlenlik Shavhakhap's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Nanrillflannibcimlenlik Shavhakhap's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Badgers are not to be trusted.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Run away from black monkeys, for they are unholy.

5. Never think about dark energy near whales while wearing gray hats and balancing seven lead spheres on your arms.