Quafcebnadgupfomcumsakton is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, wise lobster.

Quafcebnadgupfomcumsakton created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafcebnadgupfomcumsakton, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quafcebnadgupfomcumsakton, he will send you a sign.

Quafcebnadgupfomcumsakton's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Quafcebnadgupfomcumsakton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

3. Quafcebnadgupfomcumsakton loves snails, so they must be honoured.

4. Worship no other gods but Quafcebnadgupfomcumsakton.

5. Always help ducks in need.