Kenbenkim is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, dishonest owl.

Kenbenkim created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenbenkim, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kenbenkim, he will refuse to believe in you.

Kenbenkim's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Kenbenkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never feed melons to aardvarks while wearing hats.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.