Ladsanbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, stupid horse.

Ladsanbarn created oxygen four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ladsanbarn, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ladsanbarn, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Ladsanbarn's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Ladsanbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of seals.

2. You must pray to Ladsanbarn six times a day.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Ladsanbarn loves whales, so they must be honoured.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.