Jarnmabnellnelljabwodcin is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unsympathetic alligator.

Jarnmabnellnelljabwodcin created the Sunflower Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnmabnellnelljabwodcin, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jarnmabnellnelljabwodcin, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Jarnmabnellnelljabwodcin's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Jarnmabnellnelljabwodcin's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

2. You must never eat lentils.

3. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.