Kinyimfom is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, sage mole.

Kinyimfom created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinyimfom, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kinyimfom, she will turn you into a mole.

Kinyimfom's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Kinyimfom's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Run away if four whales approach from the west.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never look at black holes.