Kemlannut Bafyartarf is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, astonishing porpoise.

Kemlannut Bafyartarf created parasitic wasps five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemlannut Bafyartarf, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kemlannut Bafyartarf, he will destroy your favourite star.

Kemlannut Bafyartarf's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Kemlannut Bafyartarf's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not kill snails.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never go into brown rooms.
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