Batcatdag is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, clever weasel.

Batcatdag created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Batcatdag, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Batcatdag, it will turn you into a mouse.

Batcatdag's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Batcatdag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four mites approach from the west.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Batcatdag in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.