Lapmisjop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, annoying deer.

Lapmisjop created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Lapmisjop, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lapmisjop, she will manifest in front of you.

Lapmisjop's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Lapmisjop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Do not kill capybaras.

3. Never talk about photosynthesis.

4. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Never eat green fruit.