Hudkenbon is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, selfish skunk.

Hudkenbon created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hudkenbon, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hudkenbon, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hudkenbon's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Hudkenbon's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Never think about dark matter near manatees while wearing blue stockings and balancing six tin spheres on your arms.

3. Put Hudkenbon first in all things.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

5. Do not cook food in pots.