Davanhubdussnabtail is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, almighty monkey.

Davanhubdussnabtail created the Large Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Davanhubdussnabtail, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Davanhubdussnabtail, she will remove you from existence.

Davanhubdussnabtail's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Davanhubdussnabtail's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never feed lots of figs to moths while wearing cyan rings.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.