Dissvedwab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-assured aardvark.

Dissvedwab created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dissvedwab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dissvedwab, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Dissvedwab's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dissvedwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never write about dark energy.

5. Do not make images of living things.