Dumcipfum is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, benevolent naga.

Dumcipfum created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumcipfum, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dumcipfum, it will turn you into a slug.

Dumcipfum's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Dumcipfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near mites while wearing turquoise coats and balancing seven silver spheres on your neck.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dumcipfum.