Flagtimcussbossbafmet is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, resourceful crab.

Flagtimcussbossbafmet created a charm quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flagtimcussbossbafmet, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flagtimcussbossbafmet, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Flagtimcussbossbafmet's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Flagtimcussbossbafmet's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Flagtimcussbossbafmet.

2. Always treat bats with great respect.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Do not keep four aardvarks in a large pit.

5. Pray towards the west.