Mobaffag is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, moody zebra.

Mobaffag created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Mobaffag, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mobaffag, she will turn you into a hamster.

Mobaffag's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Mobaffag's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near ducks.

2. Always obey Mobaffag's priests.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never feed lots of parsnips to rats while wearing fawn rings.