Wodkaptam is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, fast fly.

Wodkaptam created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wodkaptam, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wodkaptam, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Wodkaptam's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Wodkaptam's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry snakes.

2. Do not kill pigs.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always treat sharks with great respect.

5. Always help dolphins.