Wapvolfatratbuscantar is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unfair otter.

Wapvolfatratbuscantar created life eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapvolfatratbuscantar, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wapvolfatratbuscantar, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Wapvolfatratbuscantar's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Wapvolfatratbuscantar's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into purple rooms.

2. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never feed parsnips to frogs while wearing brown kilts.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near hamsters while wearing cyan scarves and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your hands.