Mutsakjon is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, ruthless guinea pig.

Mutsakjon created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutsakjon, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Mutsakjon, he will turn you into a tree.

Mutsakjon's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Mutsakjon's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat gulls with great respect.

2. Never talk about chlorophyll.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Mutsakjon loves moths, so they must be honoured.

5. Always help ducks.