Gofjabvan is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, astonishing porpoise.

Gofjabvan created the Sol system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofjabvan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gofjabvan, it will turn you into a puffin.

Gofjabvan's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Gofjabvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Never feed gooseberries to doves while wearing brown kilts.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

5. Never paint your legs purple.