Xenbumbog Jarnstragbeggub is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, merciful spider.

Xenbumbog Jarnstragbeggub created silver three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xenbumbog Jarnstragbeggub, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Xenbumbog Jarnstragbeggub, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Xenbumbog Jarnstragbeggub's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Xenbumbog Jarnstragbeggub's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near cats while wearing gray shoes and balancing four nickel spheres on your feet.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

4. Always look after injured monkeys.

5. Never feed spinach to shrews while wearing red corsets.