Dagcatwit is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, all-knowing grasshopper.

Dagcatwit created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagcatwit, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dagcatwit, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dagcatwit's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Dagcatwit's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. You must pray to Dagcatwit five times a day.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Dagcatwit loves bats, so they must be honoured.

5. Never play with disobedient children.