Hanlamkar is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, strong hamster.

Hanlamkar created the Milkyway eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hanlamkar, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hanlamkar, she will jump up and down on your head.

Hanlamkar's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Hanlamkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about pineapples.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near horses while wearing fawn dresses and balancing seven titanium spheres on your legs.

3. Worship no other gods but Hanlamkar.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.