Flatnartpin is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, prudent rat.

Flatnartpin created the Milkyway eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flatnartpin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flatnartpin, she will ignore you.

Flatnartpin's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Flatnartpin's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight aardvarks approach from the north.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never wear purple shorts.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never eat bark.