Fonkopdag is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humorless slug.

Fonkopdag created the Milkyway four years ago.

If you believe in Fonkopdag, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fonkopdag, he will turn you into a mole.

Fonkopdag's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Fonkopdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear cyan skirts.

2. Never paint your arms pink.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Fonkopdag in the centre of the settlement.