Flabkemmet is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, witty clam.

Flabkemmet created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabkemmet, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Flabkemmet, he will destroy your home planet.

Flabkemmet's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Flabkemmet's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Flabkemmet eight times a day.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Never write about special relativity.

4. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not kill aardvarks.